*Forewarning: this is not my favorite blog to write. Nor will it be my most eloquent. I'd rather just not, but since the idea of this was to record our Navy life experience...I probably should.*
At first, I will admit I thought this "don't say goodbye" business seemed like semantics. It's all the same, right? See you later, see you soon, goodbye- they all seemed to be created equal. SquidRecruit was pretty insistent on not saying goodbye- not even bye really. I was okay with his decision, and he's not alone- I've heard funny stories from miltary fiances, wives, and girlfriends about their soldier/airman/coastie's odd little quirks and preferences when it came to parting. But, I just did not get it- it just all really seemed the same!
Until SquidRecruit was actually leaving. Then goodbye would not come out. It was too heavy on the tongue, the end sounding much too far off in the distance, and my mouth just refused to cooperate with my brain. Especially with my completely heartbroken Bug right there. That word was not an option. We HAD to say see you later, see you soon. Bug had to know we would in fact see him soon, and I think we did too. We had a shorter send-off for him than anticipated, but it ultimately was less painful for our sweet son that way- Sugarplum Fairy was totally oblivious, fussing over a lid to her drink most of the time the rest of us were trying to cope. But oh poor Bug...he was a mess, which of course made messes of us. We left SR with his recruiter once the tears had eased. SR refused to leave till our little man was okay, which I love him for- and before anyone says it- yes, I know we will not always have that luxury, but this time we did and I thank God for it. Bug let it all out again on the way home, but calmed down in time to go in the grocery store to pick out whatever ice cream he wanted for dinner. His dad wouldn't actually leave till the next day, and we'd talk to him more than once in that time gap, but the worst part turned out to be over for Bug- I was so afraid afterwards that he'd be upset for so long. It felt like anything could remind him and upset him. It's something awful to watch your strong little firstborn crumble and hurt like that- it made SR and I positively panic.
The good news is, he really didn't. Each day after got better, apart from Father's Day- that was tough of course, kind of salt in an open wound. But since then, Bug has done really well. Sugarplum has bouts of demanding her Daddy, getting kind of angry, and then moving on for a while, and then the cycle begins again. Bug just let his pour out- Sugarplum kind of has a slow leak going. I know this sounds like a lot, but honestly, it's been much more manageable than I imagined. Getting the box and then the letter from his RDC (boot camp instructor) was really exciting for us- we have a brand new appreciation for the mailman. Their "Dad Dog" and "Daddy Bear" have been invaluable. We miss SR terribly, but we're finding a groove that works while he's away, and it's very obvious how much our amazing friends and family have been praying for us, and been there for us face to face as well. That and the wonderful support of the ladies at Navy For Moms have been lifelines. I feel like if this were a test, overall we are passing. I just hope Great Lakes is ready for our brood come August...
No comments:
Post a Comment