"It's a month from today," I said to futureSquid.
"Yeah. I know."
Hard to think about, sad to think about. No sense in sitting and thinking about. So, what to do?
Well go on one of our many random day trips, of course. We drop by to grab Mamaw B, and we're off to Cherokee, NC.
We enjoyed the amazing sunny view on the ride up, fed bears, walked around the tiny zoo, had ice cream, and headed home listening to Bug's new music. It was what it was, and it was wonderful. It was Daddy and Mommy and Bug and Sugarplum and Mamaw, and every combination of all five. And that's where we are right now. Things are uncomplicated, and deliberately so. No unnecessary stress, no guilt-induced obligations. Just time spent making sweet memories to hold us over until we're back together.
When things get hard or unpredictable, I have a tendency to pare down: what matters the most, and what hinders the things that matter from being at their best? This is why life for the next four weeks' time revolves a whole lot around what it is that futureSquid wants to do with it, and also why I decided long ago that after saying goodbye to him, the kiddos and I are leaving directly to take a short hiatus from normal life. Running away? Perhaps. But I just don't think I'll be ready for tilted heads and the "how are you"s with that tone...or worse. Selfishly, aside from Bug and Sugarplum Fairy, I think I need a few days before dealing with anyone else's possible grief. I need to see them okay, then go from there. Keeping things very basic, no pun intended.
We will return much sooner than later, and it will be to the most supportive system of family and friends. Happily this will include Airman, Mo, and beautiful baby Belle all the way from Japan. They will never know how grateful I am that they will be here to see futureSquid off, and that when I return I'll get to love on Belle, joke around with Airman, and get nostalgic with Mo about misadventures in staying busy, not so very long ago when the then-futureAirman left his beautiful new bride at home to set off for basic training of his own. It felt like an eternity at the time, but it came and went. That passed, and this shall, too- something I'm sure I'll have to remind myself of more than once this summer.