You're leaving me here, dear, alone with all your letters

Dear futureSquid,
                            I have something to tell you. I did not like the talk that you insisted we have last night, about how you wanted myself and the behbez to "keep moving along" when you've left-let the kiddos have their party as scheduled, go to movies,play, fuss, anything- just don't sit home and be sad. I'm excited about our little adventure, but this part, not so much, and you had just HAD to go and bring it up, didn't you? Ok, well maybe you really did, in all fairness. But now you've left me with the unpleasant thought of figuring out just how to do this business of moving along without my best friend, the person who makes mundane tasks fun, the person who I run to with every sadness and happiness. The only one I'd ever want to go through the ups and downs of marriage and parenting with. The one who's great with all of our friends' kids. My sharpie tattoo guinea pig. The one who let me know it's okay to take a nap. The one with all the impressions, the keeper of all the inside jokes. The feeder of the the squirrels, my Cannon Von Sixty. The one who's a terrible sport. Bug's Saturday morning wrestling opponent. The one who can simply raise his eyebrows and remind me to be a little more gentle with my words to others. The big spoon. The one who comes around the car in the rain to open my door for me.  The one that both Bug and Sugarplum Fairy adore completely, in part because of who you are, and in part because you let them eat cookies for breakfast. The one who brings me flowers. The one who "boxes" with my best friends. The funniest person I know, hands down. The one who prays for us before we go to sleep each night. The one who all old ladies are in love with. The one who asked me out across the room in math class three years before we ever got to go on that date. The one who has forgiven many mistakes on my part in the last nine years.The one with the most charming, mischievous smile I've ever laid my eyes on, the one who I think of everytime Bug flashes that identical grin. Sugarplum Fairy's only hair-fixing client. The one who hugged my very intimidating dad in a church full of people and lived to tell about it. The one who stands up for what he believes in, even when others don't like it. The one who is fiercely protective of our little family. The one who gave our kids that indescribable laugh. The one who can fix absolutely anything, the one who is the sweetest uncle a niece could ever want to have.  Now that I think about it, maybe it's not that you're leaving...maybe it's that you've insisted on being so very, very missable. Either way, I promise to continue planning parties, watching movies, loving our babies, and living as normal of a life as possible with you gone, but I cannot promise you that my heart will feel whole until we're all where we belong, and that is wherever you are.